Heartbreaker
by ToniTheTerror
Summary: When Kenny gets sent to a 'Sexuall Rehab Center' he isn't happy. But then he gets sent home! To his cost, he has to find a partner within a month. Can he do it? Or will his old attitude take over again?
1. Chapter 1

**Heartbreaker.**

**Chapter One - **_**Nut Case.**_

I wake from an amazing dream about girls, to the sound of Kade's loud, grating snore. I sigh and, resisting the massive temptation to throw one of my boots at his head, I sit up. Brushing a hand through my blonde hair, I look about the room that I have been living in for the past two months. The same four gray walls. The same dark metal door.

Nothing has changed. I can't really say I expected it to. I look over to my room-mate, Kade and see him hugging his god-damned teddy bear again…and snoring. I swear, if that dude doesn't fix his snoring - I'll do it for him, and I'll hurt him for sheer entertainment. I'll break his stupid little button nose if I have to!

I throw myself backwards to lie on my pillows again and squint at the clock. I blink a few times until my eyes become adjusted to the dark and see that the clock reads; '9:15 AM'

Well, he gave me 15 minutes more than he did last night. **I WANT TO GO HOME.**

"_My name is Kenny McCormick. I am 20 years old and I am a sex-addict."_

That it what I wrote on a slip of paper as soon as I got here. It was so degrading. It's embarrassing to even think about!

At this moment, as much as I miss all the people in South Park, I really want to punch Kyle. He's the main reason that I was forced to come to this hell-hole.

When we left school everything was perfect. Kyle had a job at the local youth centre (he could finally put his talent for giving gay speeches to use), Stan had a job as a soccer coach, Cartman was working as a real estate agent and I had…_sex_. As far as I was concerned - that was my job. Kyle kept telling me to get a real job and I persisted that I would as soon as I had finished enjoying free life. However, I began to get steadily poorer. Soon, I couldn't afford the rent on my apartment. Kyle let me stay with him in his house. He was all alone as his parents are super rich and they bought him a house! Kyle said "Anything is better than you practically selling your ass on street corners!" But I wasn't selling my ass! Although it did cross my mind.

Living at Kyle's house was great at first, but Kyle began to get concerned about the fact that every morning I woke up with a different person at my side. I remember scaring myself to death one morning by finding myself curled around a slim boy with auburn hair. I jumped from him and out of bed immediately - thinking it was Kyle. The dude woke up and turned round to face me and I realised it wasn't Kyle at all, it was just some random dude I picked up in a bar the night before. I breathed a sigh of relief and rolled in for a quick fuck-session before kicking the guy out. To no surprise, not many of my sex-pals came back for seconds. After all, I treated them with little or no respect. Some came back (the desperate, horny blondes).They were good rides, but not all there in the head.

I never loved a single one of them. They were simply a way to relieve my craving.

Kyle noticed that whenever I was at bars and clubs, I would always flirt with everyone - just to get in their pants. He kept harping on about how worried he was about me.

"_I don't want you to get hurt! You need to get a proper job, Kenny! This can't be healthy! You can't carry on like this, Kenny!" _**NAG NAG NAG!**

I told him to get screwed, but he ambushed me. The bastard. Stan and Cartman grabbed me one morning, threw me into Kyle's car and drove me all the way to this clinic and admitted me personally. Damn them all to hell.

So here I am. At a sexual rehab clinic. As I have been for two months..

This place is called _'Rosy Wood'_. I don't know or care why. It sounds more like a camp-site if you ask me, and to be honest - I wish it was. At least in a tent you can have a quickie or at least jack off.. They watch your every move here. They even count how many times you wank! They have perverted cameras in your rooms - like tiny red eyes, watching you sleep. I was quite freaked out by them when I first arrived here, but you get used to them, I suppose.

I sit back up and give the camera a quick 'V-Sign' before throwing my legs over the side of the bed and sliding my feet into my tattered shoes. My clothes lay on the floor in a crumpled mess. I had another 'verbal-fight' with Kade last night. He kept pointing out how much he had improved in his life since he arrived here. It was like he was expecting me to say _"Oh yes, Kade. You have really improved! You are much better than me!"_ and it really pissed me off because I refuse to give in to a retard like Kade. In the end we both yelled hurtful things to each other and we both got undressed quickly and jumped into our own beds, backs to each other, not uttering a single word. I'll bet he will have forgotten it by the time he wakes up, though.

Kade is 19 with fluffy brown hair and equally brown eyes. He usually wears T-shirts with stupid slogans printed on the front such as; _"Go-Go-Gadget Shirt!" _or _"Escaped Lunatic! Don't tell anyone you saw me!"_. His body is overly-skinny - sort of the same as that Tweek kid's back in South Park. Why the hell can I remember that irritating, vibrating little fucker? I barely talked to him, but then again - I remember everything about South Park. I haven't stopped thinking about it, not wanting to forget it… just thinking about it makes me realise how much I hate this place and how much I want to go home.

Kade grunts in his sleep and I see his arm flop from his side to dangle off the side of his bed. I'm glad I got paired with Kade and not some of the other idiots they have in this place. Kade is a nice guy, although he does have a temper. He does not like to be told what to do. He was brought in here because he managed to have 8 girlfriends at once. How does that work? Me - had sex with to many people to count but never been in a real relationship, and then here comes Kade with his 8 girlfriends! Does that make Kade more of a fuck-addict than I am…was? I don't know who or what I am anymore.

This feels like the worst problem in the world. I have all these feelings building up inside and I can't relieve them! I want that feeling again! The experience that makes your head buzz and your body tingle, but I've been deprived of it. For too long. It's not the fact that I'm scared of punishment - It's more like I can't be bothered.

I sit on the edge of my bed for hours after getting dressed, staring out of the small barred window in the side of our room. I stare at a tree, thinking about the time that myself and Eric Cartman had a tree-house. Eric used me as bait to go and attract girls. Asshole. He always uses-

-BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!-

Kade's fucking alarm clock. Kade, himself, snaps into life almost instantly. His hand wanders over the objects on his bedside table until his fingertips brush the clock. He presses down the off button and sits up.

"Kenny?" He mumbles, rubbing his eyes. I give a small grunt to show I'm awake and his eyes open, quickly.

"What are you doing up this early?" he asks, looking confused.

"You were snoring… again." I growl, fixing him with an angry glare. He looks surprised and then sighs.

"So those lozenges _didn't_ work!" he asks, letting a noise of anger escape his pursed lips.

"Obviously not." I mumble, raising an eyebrow. Kade shoots a small glare at me as he wanders over to his closet and begins to get dressed. I think this system is really logical. They put a sex-slave like me, in a room with a fucking octagon. Smart.

Kade has changed since I first met him, during the first couple of weeks he was exiting himself every night and he even tried sneaking into the female part of the building! Now, however, he's about as frigid as… Kyle. NOT from personal experience! NO WAY! Ever! Kyle wouldn't satisfy me anyway. Kyle did have a girlfriend about two years ago and he wouldn't even hold her hand, let alone kiss her! Finally, she got bored and left him. Kyle wasn't really bothered, either. I expected him to be heart-broken (knowing how emotional he is) but he just carried on with his life as normal..

Once Kade has finished dressing, he sits on the end of his bed and stares at his shoes. Kade always acts so bright and happy, but I know he wants to go home as much as me. He misses his family, and I know the people here annoy him. I hate the people in this place, too. The instructors treat you like a three-year old and the patients who have been 'cured' quiver and clasp their hands over their ears if they hear the word 'sex'. Then there's the 'rough patients', who yell "Give me a quickie or I'll smash your face in!" at you in the bathroom. I've been attacked in there about nine times by a craver in the bathrooms. They yelled and I wasn't exactly going to refuse, was I? But all the rough's get caught and moved on to level 6 security clinic, where you have a member of staff with you and watching you 24/7.

I don't really like the sound of that so I never ask for sex. I wait till someone asks me (or rather tells me) and I pretend to be dis-allowing and timid, even though on the inside, my hormones are rejoicing. It's usually men that demand from me - I've only ever had one woman and she did all the work!

Some people think it's gross to be 'obsessed' with sex, but to me - it's not an 'obsession'. It's a want. A need. A job? Maybe even a way of life.

To be continued…


	2. Chapter 2

**buHeartbreaker/u**

**Chapter 2 - i**_**Tracking./i/b**_

It's 9:25 AM and I'm actually awake. What is right about that? If I was in South Park, I wouldn't be awake until dinner time…unless my latest victim was a snorer..

Myself and Kade are on our way to group discussion in room 41B. It's a meeting that happens every morning, but we've been called earlier than usual for some reason. We sit in a room and discuss our 'sexual activity'. It is the most boring, dull and embarrassing experience I have ever had to go through. I feel like such a goody-two-shoes in there because I never do anything 'sexual' in here - Like I said, I can't be bothered with the punishment..

We finally arrive outside room 41B and Kade pushes the door open. As we step inside, I am forced to squint due to the large beam of bright sunlight cutting through the dusty air. I look at the people dotted on the many chairs at the other side of the room and see two of my 'friends', Tegan and Chrissie, sat together. I wander over to them and slump in the chair next to Tegan, then I look at the board in front of us. There are seven big, bold letters, scrawled as a title in a wide black marker.

'REWARDS'

Oh, great. Hooray for corny prizes.. I let out a small sigh and Tegan glances at me.

"What's wrong, Kenny?" she asks, blinking slowly at me with her crystal blue eyes. I shake my head and sit upright in my seat as Kade drops down into the seat beside me.

Tegan is always nosey about everything. She has long curly blonde hair and brown eyes, an apparent unusual combination. Chrissie told me that she used to be rowdy and fun, but this place made her paranoid, scared and changed her personality completely, but she's still okay. She's kind and gentle, although slightly quiet. Chrissie, however, is the queen of doom and gloom herself. She has long, stringy black hair with streaks of red entwined into the ebony. She usually wears black clothes, shiny, netting or just plain fabric - but always black. We don't know anything about her background. Tegan is clueless and Chrissie certainly isn't going to be telling any time soon. We only know that she's constantly angry and hates the world.

My relationship with Kade, Tegan and Chrissie is kind of like my relationship with Cartman. I have no idea why we are friends…we just are. I suppose I just need isomeone/i to hang with in here, otherwise I'm sure I'll go insane..

Gradually, the vacant seats around us fill with people. Random forms running into the room bleary eyed, having only just realised what time it was. I wish I could wake up late. Unfortunately, I have Kade as my personal little brunette alarm clock. Once everyone is seated, the female member of staff sat on the sidelines waiting moves into the middle next to the board and smiles round at us.

"Good Morning, everyone!" She says, smiling a large toothy smile around the semi-circle. "My name is Vicky and I'm a special member of staff because-"

"Oh, I'm sure you're 'special'.." I say quietly. Tegan begins to giggle quietly as Vicky throws me a stern look.

"Because," she continues, breathing a deep sigh. "I only visit every two months to give rewards to people who have really made a difference to their lives." Vicky recites, giving a crude hand gesture every now and again. Some people around me perk up slightly when they hear the word 'rewards'. I, however, roll my eyes and slump in my seat. I haven't made a difference to my life. It sucked before and it sucks even more now, so if anything - I've made it worse.

Vicky begins to read out names and after each is called, we give a short, polite applause then said person stands up and moves across to the other side of the room as Vicky instructs.

"Sam.

Everyone lightly taps their hands together as a small tousle haired ginger boy raises from his feet and makes his way to the others that have already been called. Tegan and Chrissie are called, then Kade, then Emma. Person after person until Myself and about 4 others are left sat down.

I knew it. I knew I wouldn't be picked. It makes no difference, really. I don't want a reward. The odds are it will be something amazingly cheesy anyway.

"And last but not least, we have….."

Mounting tension.. Yeah.. Scary.

"Kenneth!" Vicky exclaims. Me? Why? This is probably why I hate this place so much… it's so confusing!

Everyone claps and I hear a small "Yay!" from Tegan as I shuffle over to the group. Vicky dismisses the others still sat down, then turns to face us.

"Well done everyone! You have been chosen because you have made a major impact of improvement to your problems. Now, your reward is a month away from Rosy Wood! You can go back to your hometowns and you must only return at the end for a check up if you complete a few tasks that we will give you to complete." Vicky says, beaming round the group.

YES! HOLY JESUS! IM GOING HOME! Finally! I'm free from the scrutiny of this god forsaken clinic. Everyone is making a ruckus of mumbling. Vicky cools them down then speaks once more.

"But we will be giving you a journal for whoever lives in your house with you. They must write reports on your sexual activity each night until you return."

Well.. That's ruined all happiness.


	3. Chapter 3

**buHeartbreaker/u**

**Chapter 3 - iI'm on my way**_**/i/b**_

Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. KYLE.

I'm staying at Kyle's house…which means Kyle gets the diary!

I don't know which is worse.. Staying here… or letting Kyle report on my sex-life!?

Does anyone have a knife? A gun? A rope?

--

After breakfast, everyone goes back to their rooms to pack. Kade practically danced down the corridor which thoroughly irritated me.

"Were going home, Kenny! Isn't that great?" Kade squeaks, unlocking the door with haste and skipping inside.

"Yeah.. Brilliant." I say, following him inside and walking over to my wardrobe. There is only a few items in there. My parka, a few plain white shirts and two pairs of jeans. Like I said, I'm not rich. I pull the jeans and shirts from their hangers and stuff them in a plastic bag.

"What's wrong? I thought you hated this place?" Kade voice sounds from the depths of his wardrobe.

"I do. It's just the minor detail that Kyle will be checking up on my sexual activity. That's why I'm pissed off." I say, grabbing my parka from it's hanger and folding it over my arm. I look back at Kade to find him neatly folding all his retarded t-shirts.

"But you've got so much better, Kenny!" Kade says, placing the final shirt on top of all the others in his suitcase.

"Only because the punishment doesn't really interest me. Trust me… sometimes I think I'd rape you if it wouldn't get me sent to Level 6." I say, with a slight smirk. Kade flinches slightly then closes the top of his case and zips it closed.

"That's gross." He mutters, tugging the case off the bed. Jesus, Kade can be so naïve sometimes.

"Dude, I was kidding. No offence but I'd never fuck you. Your too… Tweek-ish." I tell him as he pulls the suitcase handle upwards then rolls it over to the door.

"What does Tweek-ish mean?" He asks, shoving a denim hat onto his head and throwing me a confused look.

"Nothing." I chuckle. Kade remains still with the same puzzled look on his face for a moment, before shaking his head and opening the door.

When we reach the main entrance, I see all the 'patients' re-united with their friends and families. I spot Tegan hugging a tall, blonde man who is clearly her father. Chrissie is over by the vending machines talking to two people who look about her own age. They are both wearing black, like Chrissie. One has pink hair, short and spiky, the other has blue. They both look surly and evil. Kade suddenly runs from my side to hug his mother who is sat by the exit door. She stands, allowing her brunette hair to wave with the force the wind, and catches Kade in a warm embrace. Kade then picks up his bag and opens the door. Before he leaves, he turns to look behind him with his eyebrows furrowed, as though he is searching for someone. His eyes rest me and he gives a smart salute and a smile to signal his goodbye. I return the gesture, grinning and Kade leaves with his mother following.

Then, a boy with raven hair sits in the chair where Kade's mother sat moments ago. I recognise him immediately.. The last time I saw him was in this very room, him giving me an apologetic smile and me scowling at him.

"Stan!" I yell, running over to him. His head lifts to catch sight of me dodging people to reach him. I throw myself into his arms to give him a gruff hug before breaking and grinning.

"Kenny. Jesus.. It feels like years since I last saw you! Ar- Ouch!" he squeaks, due to the fact that I just gave him an immensely hard punch on the arm.

"What the hell was that for?" he asks, rubbing the place where I just hit him.

"For bringing me here.. I've been to hell and on the whole, I think this place was a lot worse!" I growl in a low, menacing tone. Stan gives a nervous little laugh while looking to the floor.

"Well.. I was going to ask you if you were okay, but I suppose that question's been answered." Stan says, scratching his black hair. He then turns to the door and pushes it open, asking me silently to go first. I set my first foot into freedom and breathe in the sweet fresh air. I can smell the scent of lavender and rosemary from the flower beds lining either side of the path. Stan leads me out of the chrome gates to a large, shiny van parked perfectly a little way down the road.

"This is your van?" I ask him, incredulously. Stan nods proudly.

"Sweet!" I exclaim, grinning. Stan puts a finger to his lips, shoves the key in the side door lock and turns it clockwise. The door slides open smoothly to reveal five sleeping boys laid inside. One is slim and auburn-haired. His orange sports jacket is laid over his chest like a blanket. Obviously, Kyle. He hasn't changed in the slightest, apart from his hair - it's longer and straighter. The second boy is laid in another's arms. He is hunched up in a ball with his head on the other boys chest. I can't see his face but I can tell who it is by looking at his hair and his twitchy breathing. Tweek. The boy he is laid on has one of his arms over his eyes and the other round Tweek. Small tufts of black hair are protruding under his arm, making in plain that the boy is Craig. But why has he got his arm round Tweek? Best friends? I don't think so… I know relationships when I see them. Craig is sleeping soundly, it's not surprising considering he practically has a massage machine in his arms. He's got skinnier, too. Maybe he's been dieting. Chubby bastard. Craig is two-faced, sick and idiotic.. He's perverted too, but I over-rule him on that factor. The fourth boy is laid haphazardly at the end of the van near the door with his face in clear view. His expression is a deep look of intense discomfort and hate, like he is sleeping on a bed of sharp nails. Eric Cartman. I hate Eric so much. Every ounce of my strength would be behind a punch right in that fat fuck's face. Sometimes I wish he would die, but then I would still see him in hell.. And I would have no-one to laugh at up here. The final boy is curled neatly in the corner, sleeping soundly. His legs are folded up close to his chest and his arms are round them in a tight grasp. His light blonde hair is falling over his perfect heart shaped face.. Butters.. I've always liked Butters. He's kind, sweet, innocent - if a bit naïve..

"Did everyone come all this way just to see me?" I ask Stan quietly.

"Sure we did.. We missed you!" Stan says, shutting the van door and opening the passenger door. He slides smoothly over the seats to the drivers chair and I climb into the seat beside him, close the door and click my seat belt into place. Stan takes a quick look behind him at the sleeping boys in the back before turning the key in the ignition and setting off down the road. I hear sliding and grunting in the back, so I turn my head but I fins that no-one has woke up, it was just Cartman getting more comfortable.

--


End file.
